Monday, November 14, 2011

Anono-Momma.... My little secret

I will start this out by saying thank goodness for Anono-Momma!
This is something that I would never admit to anyone.


Sadly, after having my two children my bladder is not what it used to be. If I laugh, sneeze, cough or sometimes even wait just a bit too long; you guessed it, I am in need of a full lower outfit change. Not only is it totally embarrassing but it is totally annoying!

Recently, I went back to work part time, (now that the oldest is in full time Kindergarten, I decided to pop the 2 year old into 'pre-school').  With my children being in 'school' they of course brought home all sorts of great germs to share. During this particular story I had been fighting off a dreadful head cold with an arsenal of netti pot, medicated nasal sprays, and cold medication all of which makes me horribly dried out and dehydrated.

To sum it up... I was thirsty.

I stopped on my way home from work to get the BIGGEST Iced Tea I could get my hands on at the local drive through.  I gulped that sucker down in nothing flat.

I was STILL thirsty.

At the next light I spied another drive through, and I thought what the heck, I just have to get on the highway go two exits and then I will be able to use the restroom when I picked the kids up.

I pulled in and ordered my second BIGGEST Iced Tea I could get my hands on, as I started to slurp this gigantic, cold yummy goodness down, I had just a twinge of  'I have to pee', but me being me decided it is okay, I am going to push it and get to the kids school as quickly as I can.  I maneuver back into traffic, and onto the on ramp to the highway and just as I am next to merge from the on ramp to the actual Highway.... screech ..... BAM!  An accident happens right up ahead. And then everyone stops dead.

I will admit it, I started to regret my two ultra large drive through iced teas at that very moment as the sweat beads popped up on my scalp line and the twinge of, "I have to pee", became a low throb.  I squirmed in my seat as I surveyed the traffic situation.  Maybe, I could back up and get off the on ramp?  That might have been possible, but there were at least 10 cars behind me, and 10 cars in the row beside me, and I am in the lane directly merging into traffic.


Cars are creeping forward, trying to get around the 4 car pile up in front of us and creating an even bigger traffic jam.  I am now dancing in my seat, trying my hardest to get the urge to go away, when I hear the sirens blaring from the rescue vehicles who are driving on the shoulder beside us to get to the accident.

I sat there watching them pondering, could I perhaps drive up on the shoulder honking my horn and just get by this mess?

Thirty minutes later.

Still sitting.

I call the kids school to let them know I will be late...

I am in A.G.O.N.Y!

I am frantic.. no joke, I need to go so badly, I have tears in my eyes.  I think of every scenario I could to relieve myself.

Maybe, if I get out and just walk back down the on ramp and across the street to the drive through restaurant, I can get back in time to edge forward the next inch when traffic moves again?
Are there bushes on the side of the road?  
Is this worthy of calling 911 for? I really need to PEE!!!
Any minute they will clear this accident and I will be there.... any minute!
Nope... 10 more excruciating minutes pass.

Done. I am done. I HAVE to PEE... NOW!!!  I look around in the car for something, anything that might help my situation when I spy the DIAPER BAG!


I grab the bag and frantically search inside.  Eureka, I find that life saving invention with the thrill of a Gold Panner hitting the jack pot!  Quickly, I grab it out, open it up, slide it underneath myself, (as I carefully adjust my skirt and 'other items'), and then I let go....


Seriously, it felt so good, I couldn't even be embarrassed.

And then wouldn't you know it!!!  The traffic literally started to move.

When I got 2 exits down, I pulled into my kids school parking lot, take the soiled diaper and toss it in the trash can and quickly adjust my clothes with my reflection from the front windows of the main building, scurrying inside to clean myself up before I great my kids.

And here is my little secret.
From that day forward, I have always carried an 'emergency diaper' in my glove box.

-Pee Emergency Momma
(Reader Submitted)


  1. It looks like some mothers share a common "think outside the box" caracteristic. I 've done the same. Only my diaper was for 6mths old baby. What a mess...couldn't stop! Tim Hortons large coffee cups works also!

  2. "Anonymous" That could potentially be quite a helpful comment for some Moms out there :)


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