Sunday, October 9, 2011

Anono-Momma "That Mom"

My daughter turned 4 years old the day before she was about to start pre-k. This meant, it was my duty and responsibility to bring snacks in for fourteen children. Not just any snack, mind you...this is a completely nut-free facility. Which means, even those items processed in the same facility as those with nuts are off- limits. So began my hunt for a un-nut contaminated snack that is relatively healthy.

Of course Whole Foods would have this, right? I immediately made plans to go. Hauling both children with me (amidst cries of "I want a chip, not a GREEN chip! Mom! a WHITE chip! Mom! and get me some bread... What are these things in the bread? Mommmmyyy!!!!") I enter the bakery section of Whole Foods. Now, I should add that having a child with food allergies myself has given me some insight myself into searching for products that will not violate the preschool policy. These products are usually found around items that contain, for example, carob...or hemp...or have pictures of hippies on the packaging. But I digress.

Alas, I spot my snacks! I can seen the nut-free label from three feet away! They are cute little cookies! They are chocolate. They are hearts. Kids love chocolate and cookies and hearts! I will be loved and adored by the children and their parents!

Here is what I saw :

Great! Cute, functional, and nut-free! So the next day, I proudly presented my cookies to the teacher, patted my little birthday angel on the back and gave her a kiss goodbye.

Now cut to later on in the week. I drop my daughter off at school once again and the classroom aide comes chasing after me.."Ummmm Mrs. forgot your....ummmm...snacks." The look on her face was one of complete dissaproval. The tone in her voice suggested that of condescention. I felt like I was in trouble, but I couldn't quite figure out why. I took the container from her and left the room.

It was about when I reached the stairwell that something caught my eye.

And then:

People, I had purchased Aphrodisiac cookies for a PRE-K CLASS!

Oh, yes I did! But it gets better! Here are pictures of what was imprinted on these little gems!

Yes, I do believe the little fish on the bottom is supposed to represent one of those little swimmers used for procreation. (ahem...s-p-e-r-m) And what in tarnation is the triangle?? So yes, I have completely gone and formed a reputation as "That Mom" in my daughters preschool class. In a United Methodist Church preschool no less. I don't quite know where to go from here. I suppose I should start dressing the part?


  1. This was so funny...I still am laughing...all kids love cookies...and chocolate...and hearts....ummm...yep, they do. Bwahahahaaa...

  2. I laughed my head off! I did the same thing. I didn't know about the "spice" part. I leaned it 5 minutes ago!! Note: the triangle in this case = woman(uterus)



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