Monday, October 3, 2011

Green means Go!

So how completely annoying is it when you go to a restaurant and there is a screaming baby. Or how about when you are at the store and you see some kid literally climbing the shelves...and GOD FORBID you get stuck next to one in an airplane...OMG.....These are the thoughts EVERYONE has BEFORE becoming a Mom of a toddler. My defining moment was when I had 3 kids under the age of 6 and decided to take ALL of them grocery shopping.

It all began like this...Super...who is lovingly named "Super Scrappy" for a reason decided once we got the the store that she did not want to be there..and there was no way on God's green earth I was gonna make her. So, I am struggling (she is flailing) and I am now sweatily trying to get her into the stinkin' contraption of a cart. You know the place where they can just masterly move their legs from side to side so you can't get them in...yep, that's the one! Once I finally get her in...let's just say, it is anything but was more like an angry shove into place, she screams. I tell her to stop.

I look around...frantically searching, and low and behold an older lady behind me...yep, here we go...I smile..she shakes her head. I tell Super to be quiet and if she is, I will get her a surprise (ahhh yes coersion) but she is not swayed, she says she wants nothing and keeps screaming....So I tell her she better quit screaming. Not only does she not turns into screams saying "You hurt me! You hurt me!" Seriously, the drama of it all. Ugghhhh...there is no reasoning with this child. So I decide to ignore her...

At this point, I have already coasted down two aisles...and to my relief, my Mama silence worked...yay me! Super is quiet and asks if she still gets a surprise..."really????Fine, behave the rest of the time and you can have one. "

During this time, we have met eye to eye the older lady down every aisle who has shaken her head at me every time. I go to put cereal in the cart and realize there are a bunch of items 6 year old Scrap Happy has added...I don't have time for this...I quickly explain why we don't grab things and put them in the cart, now to retrace my steps to put it all back.

Once we are done and in the check out lane who pulls in behind us??? That's right angry head- shaking lady...well at this point things are somewhat under control when Scooter says..."Mom, there is lettuce in our cart, lettuce is green, it is a Go Food" Thinking I can redeem my Mothering skills...I can she shake her head at that? So I sweetly ask...a "go food" "What is that" He says, "We learned about it in school, green is a go food, anything green is good for you" Awesome! Love this! "Mom, guess what else is a go food?" I turn around (at this point I was lining my items up on the conveyer belt) and see his finger come out of his nose analyzing a booger.....OH NO!!!! Don't say it!!! "A boogie!" He says all proud. The lady gave me this look like, yep, I pegged you.

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